


Don't Sneeze the Rift

by leftdragonpainter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Gilmore Girls Setting, Crossover, Gabriel Being an Asshole (Supernatural), Gabriel kidnaps Dean, Humor, I'm Bad At Summaries, Inappropriate Humor, Missing Shoes, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rift Magic, Smallville - Freeform, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:49:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26112169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leftdragonpainter/pseuds/leftdragonpainter
Summary: When Dean gets Jack sick after a hunt, there are unexpected consequences. Rifts open, dickbag archangels return and chaos ensues. What happens when certain hunters can't follow their own rules about leaving rifts alone?Multi-fandom crossover that's what.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	1. Anyone Got a Tissue??

**Author's Note:**

> So this starts out during the Michael!Dean timeline, altered. The other fandoms will be played with to the authors discretion for the story to progress. This is purely for fun so I can get over my writers block. Eventually there will be pairings for our boys, and the rating will likely change to that.
> 
> Hope ya'll enjoy  
> Gabi

He didn’t blame Jack for his current predicament. Really, he didn’t.

Dean blamed himself. As usual.

Looking back at how it had all started, it really had been his fault. On their last hunt, Dean had spent too long out in the cold digging up the grave of the standard weekly salt-n-burn. Sam had warned him not to, that he could wait until morning, until Sam got into town to help him. Dean had ignored his brother, of course. Cut to a couple of days later, he was sick as hell. A coughing, sneezing, snotty-nosed mess. Sure Castiel had healed him, but not before Dean had passed it on to their resident Nephilim.

How was Dean to know that Jack would catch his measly little cold? Or that it would last over a month? Or that it couldn’t be healed? At first it hadn’t been too bad, some sniffles and a mild fever. Easy enough to take care of in a human, right? But then again, Jack wasn’t fully human, was he? So when he started to sneeze, his powers went absolutely berserk.

For example, his first sneeze? The power went out in the bunker.

By the sixth? The entire state.

Then at the end of the first week the unthinkable happened. Gabriel appeared, alive and snarky and taking up way too much space within the bunker. The fact that he had landed in the younger Winchester’s lap, caused Dean endless hours of amusement from his brother’s discomfort. After that however Jack was put on even stronger medication to hinder the cold that lingered.

The one good thing about Gabriel appearing was that he tried to help Jack control his out-of-whack powers. The archangel began training him on learning to feel how his powers worked when he sneezed, learn exactly how he was using them.

There had been only a few more power fluctuations since, with varying levels of importance. Gabriel hadn’t been the only angel to return. Balthazar, Samadriel, Inias... to name a few that Dean had been glad to see return. Then there had been several others the Winchester’s had never met but they were ones that Castiel had gotten emotional over seeing. Hannah unfortunately had been one to return, much to Dean’s chagrin.

Resurrected angels Dean could deal with. It meant more power to fuel Heaven, protecting the billions of souls housed upstairs. Castiel had even become a lot less stressed as more and more of his brothers and sisters returned. That alone made Dean okay with what was happening because of Jack’s cold.

Then the rifts started opening.

They opened to worlds both with, however little, and without magic. Wherever they opened to thankfully they were still unlocked within the bunker. The hunters and angels grew to learn the feel of the rifts between the ones with magic and the ones that didn’t. Some of the resurrected angels took to guarding the rifts in case anything dangerous decided to pay their world a visit. They would be able to take care of it, whatever it may be, quickly. The rifts opening had led to only a few spare good things as a result. Dark Kaia had been able to return to her own world, for which she had been extremely thankful.

They had been very surprised when it turned out that their Kaia was still very much alive. Claire had been ecstatic.

The clincher had happened only a few days ago. Michael had decided to attack the bunker while most of the angels were away in heaven on business. The female form had definitely been a surprise to the Winchester’s, shocking the hunters long enough to get their asses handed to them. And then... Jack sneezed. The hunters knew immediately the rift was one to a world without magic, without powers.

Now was their chance. Risking their lives in pure Winchester style, Sam, Castiel and Dean attacked the archangel from all sides. Jack joined in holding his uncle immobile. Once Michael had several angel blades sticking out of his new body, Jack tossed him through the rift and closed it. Michael wouldn’t be able to heal himself in a world without magic. He was dead.

It was finally over.


	2. Not In... Wait, This Is Still Kansas...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks Darling for fangirling over this while pimping out coffee to me.
> 
> Gabi  
> <3<3<3

Bringing himself back to his current situation, Dean snorted at the absurdity of it. Curiosity got the cat skinned apparently. He should have left the rift alone when he saw it appear in the library last night. Everyone else in the bunker had gone to bed, he should have too. Cas and the god squad had gone up on a field trip to Heaven to share the good news about Michael. With only Sam left sleeping, it basically left Dean alone in the bunker.

Insomnia kicking in, Dean had headed for the kitchen for a late night slice of pie when he overheard Jack sneeze in his sleep. A second later the space in front of the older hunter lit up brightly with a new rift.

“Shoulda left it alone,” Dean mumbled under his breath. The back of his head throbbed where he had been hit. Blindsided by a shorty with a shovel.

When he had walked through the rift he stepped into what looked like an empty barn. He should have turned back then. He knew better than to not have backup. He never should have went in alone.

He should have made sure that the rift wouldn’t close behind him once he was a foot away.

Hell. He should have made sure he had shoes on.

Dean tensed when he heard the barn door roll open behind him. He left his head down, remaining still and faking unconsciousness until he knew who he was dealing with first.

“I’m telling you, Lo, he just appeared out of nowhere!” A female voice sounded, coming closer to the tied up man.

“So you just hit him over the head with a shovel?” Another woman spoke, amused and laughing. “I’m so proud.”

“It’s not funny. What else was I supposed to do?”

Dean frowned. Really? That was something to be _proud_ of? Then he thought back to the first time that Sammy had hit a rogue shifter on the back of the head, saving his big brother in the process. So yeah. Maybe he got it. Still didn’t mean that getting blindsided was ever fun, no matter how many times it happened to him over the years. (And that was more than he cared to admit.)

“I thought that he died in the meteor shower years ago? How is he even here?” the second female questioned.

“I don’t know, Lo. That’s why I called you.”

“Smallville’s not going to be happy about this.”

_Smallville?_ The word triggered a memory for Dean. Hadn’t that been the town…?

“Speaking of, did you bother calling Clark?”

“You know how he is, Chloe. I left him a message though. I’m sure that he will be here as soon as-” Lo, the second woman was cut off as a rush of wind breezed past them.

Dean found himself hanging several feet off the ground, staring down at a caped man. A familiar man. A man able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. If Dean could move, he would be shaking his fist up at Chuck. How did he get to the point of his life where he was being threatened by fucking _Superman_?

“What the actual _fuck!_ ” Dean shouted at the manhandling. “Put me down, jackass!”

The Man of Steel stared in disbelief at the man. “Jason Teague? You’re supposed to be dead. Or are you one of Lex’s clones?”

Dean laughed. Of course he ended up in the DC Universe. Man, when he got back, Sammy was going to laugh his ass off about this. “Seriously man? Who even talks like that?”

“Maybe he doesn’t remember who he is? Did they even find his body after the meteor shower?” The blonde woman, Chloe, Dean assumed, stepped forward as though studying the flannel wearing hunter.

“No. Lionel had taken care of that. He let Lana know that years ago.” Clark reminded the women.

“Look guys,” Dean started, wanting to end whatever this was quickly. He was losing feeling in his feet. All he could do was hold on to the Kryptonian’s forearm and pray he wasn’t about to be thrown. “Whoever it is that you think I am, I can assure you I’m not.”

“So, you’re saying you don’t know who we are?” Lo asked.

Wait.

Lo.

_Lois Lane. Holy fuck!_

Fucking Lois Lane. Damn, Dean had to hand it to Clark. Lois was certainly a looker. Dean eyed the tall woman in appreciation.

“Oh, I know exactly who you two are, sweetheart.” Winking at her before he gestured to Clark. He had no clue who the other woman was, however. “But I sure as hell ain’t who the fuck you think I am.”

The short blonde narrowed her eyes. “He’s certainly a lot fouler mouthed than Jason was. And he had just _appeared_ out of a bright light. I’ll admit that hitting him was more of a reaction to that than because I thought he was Jason.”

Dean was hesitantly lowered back to the ground. Though _Superman_ -no matter how much he thought it, it was still freaking hilarious- maintained a tight hold on his shirt. The blue eyes practically pierced him immobile, but didn’t hold the weight that Castiel had with the same look. “So who are you then?”

“And if you aren’t Jason Teague, how do you know who we are? Can you even prove it?” Lois glared, crossing her arms defensively.

Dean groaned. How the fuck do you explain to -previously thought _fictional_ \- people that there was a multiverse? And that his pseudo angel son had basically been the one to send him here.

Before he could answer, Lois’ phone rang. “Hey John… Perfect timing actually…. Listen, would you be able to get to the farm? We have a bit of a situation. Yeah, fast as you can.”

No sooner had she hung up than something, _someone_ came swooshing into the barn. A well-dressed black man floated above them briefly, eyes glowing bright red -similar but brighter to demon eyes- before lowering himself to the ground. Dean’s eyes widened. He was definitely not in Kansas anymore.

Well, not _his_ Kansas.

“Thanks for coming. We found him snooping…” Lois started.

“I wasn’t snooping!” Dean argued.

“He claims he isn’t Jason Teague. That he isn’t the man who once tried to kill Clark’s parents.” Chloe added. “Maybe you can help?”

Tried to kill Clark Kent’s parents?? Was this Jason guy fucking suicidal? Dean frowned at the thought of his doppelgänger.

John Jones stepped up to the intruder. Clark released his grip on Dean’s flannel knowing John Jones had this in hand. Martian Manhunter had abilities that Clark could only dream of having, mind reading and telepathy included.

***8***8***8***

“Jack! Hey man, have you seen Dean this morning?” Sam coughed as he came up behind the young nephilim, startling him. Hopefully, he wasn’t getting that cold Dean had passed to Jack. The nephilim had been standing in the middle of the hallway deep in thought, and staring at the empty space before him. Sam didn’t really think much of it though.

“Sam.” Jack turned. Worry filled his eyes. “I think that I may have done something. But I swear I didn’t mean to!”

Jack was so earnest, wide puppy eyes that even managed to bring him down. Sam sighed. “It’s okay Jack. Just tell me what happened. I’m sure we will figure it out.”

“I think Dean went through a rift.”

Sam froze.

“Shit.” He ran a hand through his hair, anxious. His voice dropped lower as concern gripped him. “Do you know where he went? Can you sense him at all?”

Jack looked back worriedly. He shook his head negatively, avoiding Sam’s gaze. He waited for the inevitable yelling to start; it was certainly deserved this time. What if he couldn’t fix this, couldn’t get his family back?

“Hey. We’ll figure this out alright.” Sam laid a hand on Jack’s shoulder, reassuring the young nephilim. “We should probably call Cas, let him know what’s going on.”

***8***8***8***

They were quick to fill Castiel in as soon as he arrived back in the bunker. Unfortunately, he didn’t return alone. Gabriel had decided to join in on the conversation uninvited. Now the annoying little archangel was sitting at the table chuckling to himself, ignoring the death glares that the large hunter was sending his way.

“Gabriel, this isn’t funny.” Castiel frowned at his older brother, wishing the archangel would take this seriously. Castiel was concerned for the welfare of the hunter. Dean had already been gone for several hours, presumably before they even knew he had gone through the rift.

“Ah, sure it is Cassie-frass. If it had been any one of us Dean-o would be bitching about how we should know better than to go play in those rifts. But what does that idiot do? Goes into a _whole new world! A dazzling place he never knew…_ ”

“Shut up Gabe! You going to help us or not?” Sam didn’t have time to waste in getting his brother back. Who knows where he went or what was even happening to him?

Gabriel rolled his eyes. Though he was intrigued by the shorter moniker the moose had given him. Sighing dramatically -‘cus in what other way would he?- he waved his hands. “Sheesh. Uptight much Samster? Of course I’m going to help you. I’ve already sensed that he went into a world with magic, so that will be a big help in finding him. Besides, I know if we don’t find him, you aren’t going to be any fun to tease anymore.”

Sam shot him a bitch face. Gabriel winked back.

“But how are we going to know which world he was sent to? Isn’t this going to be like a finding a needle in a haystack filled with needles?” Castiel asked, frowning. It seemed to be his factory setting anymore.

Jack remained silent at the table. He felt horrible about the entire situation. If only his human half hadn’t gotten sick. Or his angelic half had not gone out of whack with being sick, none of this would have happened.

“Hey kid.” Gabriel called out to him across the table. Jack looked over, shoulders weighted down with regret. Gabriel’s expression was thoughtful, not an ounce of blame for the young nephilim. “This wasn’t your fault. If anything, it’s Dean’s since he’s the one who got you sick in the first place. We’ll fix this, don’t worry.”


	3. Missing Shoes... OR... Archangel v. Superman

“So, what now?” Lois asked. She handed Clark a cup of coffee, settling into the couch beside him. “How do we get him home?”

“Inter-galactic travel is difficult enough. Interdimensional is even worse. Without something guiding you, you could end up lost in the eternal void. Even with a guide, and a powerful one, it’s considered extremely dangerous.” John Jones stated. After he had scanned the man from the other universe, confirming that he wasn’t this Jason Teague, he had decided to stick around for a while to see how this played out. This man was from some unknown universe, it defied almost everything he knew of.

“Perhaps your father might know something?” Lois offered.

Dean had been pacing in the living room, mildly absorbing the family pictures of the Kent’s. Seeing a young Clark threw him though a loop. “You don’t have to get me home. And I don’t need some absentee father offering unwanted advice. Got that enough growing up with my own, thanks. Besides, freezing my ass off in the Fortress of Solitude, however awesome that is, holds no appeal for me.”

Clark raised his brow. The man truly did know who they were. The question was how. “Even though you aren’t Jason, Dean, you still know a lot about us. Since you’re from a different universe, how do you explain that?”

“And what do you mean, we don’t have to send you home? Do you not wish to return home?” John asked from across the room.

Dean chuckled. By now Sammy was probably pulling his hair out with worry; maybe that would make it shorter finally. Cas would be ready to smite anyone who got in the way of finding him, and Jack… Well Jack would be doing anything he could to help. “Course I wanna go home. But I know my brother is already working on how to get me home. So as long as there is no world ending apocalypse to worry about over here? No? Well then, I’ve been up for almost two days. Got someplace I can crash? Hell, I’ll sleep in the barn if it comes to it. Slept in worse places.” He added the last as an aside under his breath.

Lois frowned at that. “You don’t have to sleep in the barn. We have a guest room.”

And that was how Dean Winchester ended up the house guest to Clark Kent and Lois Lane.

***8***8***8***

“Ready then kiddies?” Gabriel yelled at the other three. “Remember to bend at the knees!”

“Gabriel. Don’t you think…” Sam started but was cut off as the Trickster clamped a hand on his shoulder. Castiel nodded to Jack, it was time.

It had taken quite a few hours for them to get everything prepared. Gabriel spent much of the time helping Jack tap into his grace, learning how to channel it. He needed to have that more under control if this was going to work. Castiel had called down a few of his brothers for advice and help with the situation. Several of the resurrected angels had offered to watch over the bunker until they returned from their rescue mission, to insure that nothing dangerous slipped in. The only stipulation was that they did so under the supervision of Jody and Donna, who Sam had called in for backup. Those two dynamos wouldn’t take any crap from the winged dicks.

Jack raised his hand, eyes glowing gold. The air shifted in the library as a rift was forced open. With his uncle’s guidance on how to control his powers, Jack hoped it would be enough to find Dean.

Wherever he was.

***8***8***8***

The rift opened in a darkened barn, closing immediately behind them again. On edge at their lack of exit Team Free Will 3.0 prepared to defend themselves. Unsure where exactly they had landed, they spread out, searching for their self-sacrificing leader. Old, run-down tractors mingled with rusty chains and farm equipment. There wasn’t much to be found in the barn except for a respectable loft that would have been amazing to hang out in.

“Cas? Can you sense Dean?” Sam was worried. It was always trouble when they dropped into a different universe. Apocalypse world and the Bad Place were horrible for many reasons. Sam prayed that he wouldn’t have to eat lizard again. Gabriel shot him a look, hearing that prayer. He opened his mouth to ask about it, but decided against it.

Tilting his head, Cas squinted at something through the barn walls. “Yes. He’s close. I think… Wait. Something’s coming.”

“So, you must be here for Dean.” A large man appeared behind them in the blink of an eye, large arms crossing his chest. The chains clanked on the wall with the sudden burst of wind. “Which of you is his brother?”

Sam stepped forward. He stood eye to eye with the man. “Where is he? What did you do to him?”

The stranger raised one brow. “I fed him, gave him a room to sleep in. I have to say, he can pack it away. The only other person besides me that I know who can eat that much is Bart.”

Gabriel snorted. “Let me guess, pie was on the menu?”

“Yes, actually.” The man smiled mildly. “It threw my wife through a loop. She thought she had bought enough for the week. Now gentlemen, if you want to put away the weapons we can head up to the house.”

“After introductions.” Gabriel narrowed his eyes at the man. There was an energy within him that wasn’t found amongst mortals. “Like yours for instance.”

“Clark Kent. And you are?” he turned to the shortest man. The tallest, Dean’s brother seemed to choke on air at his name. The shortest man’s eyes widened. That answered the question of whether they knew who he was or not.

The youngest decided he wanted to help out, so he offered their names, ending with, “And that’s Gabriel. He’s an archangel.”

That made Clark pause. The blond smirked, saying, “We should arm wrestle while I’m here. Always wondered who was stronger.”

“Gabe…” Sam groaned, wondering why his friend was like this.

“What? I’m just saying that many a nerd debate has been had about _mmph_!” Sam slapped his hand over the Tricksters mouth.

“Ignore him. Despite his infinite age, he’s actually a child.” Castiel glared at his brother. The sooner they got Dean the sooner they could return home.

At the house, Clark offered to go wake up Dean. Sam argued against it. He knew how his brother was when he was woken up suddenly. “I’ll do it. I’m less likely to be shot.”

“But he doesn’t have a weapon…” Clark started. Sam sprinted up the stairs in search of his older brother. “Never mind. So shall we?”

Gabriel grinned maniacally. Waggling his brow, he laughed. “Oh it’s on Kal-El.”

Ignoring his brother’ antics for the moment, Castiel turned to the nephilim beside him. “Are you sure you will be able to get us back? We weren’t expecting the rift to close behind us.”

Jack considered. He was a bit winded from forcing the rift to open to the correct universe. Given maybe another hour or so here, he should be re-charged enough to get them home. Not wanting to worry his father figure though, he nodded. “I should be. With Gabriel anchoring my grace… Yes. Yes I should be able to get us home.”

They turned towards the stairs when they heard the Winchester’s stomping down them.

“I’m just saying Sammy. It took you long enough. What did you do, stop to retouch your roots?” Dean smirked at his own joke. One day he was going to mess with Sam’s hair well but good. Today unfortunately was not the day.

“Right Dean. Tell me, which of us went through a rift without backup or weapons or, I don’t know… _Shoes_?” Sam shot his brother a condescending glare.

“Hey at least I didn’t lose my shoes. I know exactly where they are.”

“In another universe.”

“Shad up, bitch.”

“Jerk.”

Dean grinned at his brother. It turned to confusion when he spotted what was happening at the dining room table. “Why is Gabriel arm wrestling Superman?”

“Because he is an idiot,” Castiel deadpanned.

Neither Gabriel’s nor Clark’s arms had moved so much as an inch. They both were grinning, enjoying the fact they finally had some serious competition. They didn’t seem to be exerting much effort. There was no strain to either of them that anyone in the room could see. The only telling thing that they were both putting a lot of effort into it was the table was beginning to groan under the pressure. Before they knew it the table cracked, splitting wide and splintering across the floor.

“Oops.”

Clark looked forlornly at the shards of the table. “My grandfather made that.”

Gabriel raised his hand, snapping his fingers. In a blink the table was completely solid once more, and Dean now wore heavy duty boots. Clark’s mouth dropped open.

“Hey, thanks Gabe.” Dean grinned at the new footwear, clicking his heels ala Dorothy. With any luck, he would be able to keep them after they got back home. He swung an arm around Jack. “So, we heading home then?”

The group wandered back outside, not wanting to open a rift in the Kent house. Jack prepared himself, breathing deeply, centering his grace. Clark joined them, preparing to see them off. He would never know if they would make it home but he had to admit he was curious as to how they would go about it.

“I still wonder why you showed up here, Dean. Of all the universes, you land in one where you meet people who know, or at least _knew_ your doppelgänger. Can’t just be a coincidence.” Clark rubbed the back of his neck.

“Probably just Chuck messing with us.” Dean griped.

“Chuck?”

“Can we stop talking about my dad there Dean-o? I got shows to watch.” Gabriel clapped, ignoring Kal-El’s widened eyes. “Chop chop! Let’s get a move on.”

Sam rolled his eyes. Clark had brought an interesting point. “I wonder if there are any universes out there that have a doppelgänger for me?”

“One Gigantor is more than enough for _all_ the universes Sammykins.”

“Yeah, you wouldn’t want to have to compete with yourself over who had the best hair now, would ya?” Dean snorted.

The conversation ended as Jack pulled the energy to snap a rift open for Team Free Will to walk through…

TBC


	4. I'll just look up 'Dick' on the internet and see what pops up...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ooops! The boys go to a new universe and Gabriel is a flirty winged-dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New town! This is the beginning of the slash part. Still will be a slow burn on it since it won't be the main focus for the story. For now.  
> Enjoy!  
> Comments and kudos!  
> Gabi  
> <3<3<3

The rift snapped into existence, startling the wildlife. The air crackled as five men fell through. The light faded, muting the world around them as the rift shrunk and closed. A communal groan rippled around the clearing from the men.

Toppling fast from the rift, the hunters fell into one another. Castiel fell into Dean’s back, who in turn tripped Jack. Gabriel, graceful archangel that he was, stumbled over his own feet. Falling backwards, he reached out wildly, yanking the nearest thing with him as he fell. A thing which just happened to be the largest Winchester.

The landing was hard, Sam’s knee made direct contact to the trickster’s crotch.

“Ow! _Fuck_! My nards!” Gabriel whimpered as Sam shifted off him. He rolled on the ground, clutching his bruised and abused sack. Sam blushed as he watched the idiot being…well…an _idiot._

Dean got up first, reaching his hands out to help both Castiel and Jack back up from the ground. The hunter rolled his eyes at the melodramatic archangel. “Oh please, give it a rest. You can use your grace to heal it, you big baby. As if Sam even hurt you at all.”

“You see how good you feel, jackass, once _you’ve_ been kneed in the nuts by a giant moose hoof.” Gabriel snarked back, chuckling. He loved that the hunters had no problem calling him out on his shit. And he had none in returning it. Winking at Sam, he cheekily asked, grabbing at his crotch. “Hey Sammich, wanna kiss it better?”

Sam shot him a bitch face, his only alternative to actually shooting him. Shrugging the group’s supplies from his shoulder, he threw the duffle, heavy with weapons, at the golden eyed angel.

“Oof!” Gabriel grunted at the impact. “Yeah, okay. I deserved that.”

“Uh guys? I hate to break it to you but this ain’t the bunker. Where the hell are we?” Dean looked around as he brushed off his jeans. Distantly the sound of civilization grew louder, as though someone was turning up the volume on an old television set.

“Well, wherever the hell we are, I’m starving. We never really did eat anything before we went off to rescue you, Dean.” Sam rubbed at his stomach. “Gabe, can you sense if there is a town or something nearby?”

“Well, duh, Moose. Someone should stay here though. We need to keep an eye on the rift.”

“Rift’s gone genius.” Dean rolled his eyes at the dumbass archangel.

“No. It’s not, not really. We will have to leave from the same spot or as close to where it opened as possible in order to return home. I think.” Jack said quietly. His hands were shaky. Having to purposefully open rifts was incredibly draining. He was going to need more time than before to recover to attempt to bring them all home.

Sam decided to remain by the non-existent rift while the others went to town to get supplies.

The group wandered out of the wooded area they had emerged from. They were surprised at how close to town they actually were. A single level blue and white barn style building was in front of them. They walked around to the front, seeing a sign stating that it was Miss Patty’s Dance Studio.

“What do you say Dean-o? Get you and Cassie here signed up for a couple’s class?” Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows, teasing the older hunter. “Some waltzing? Maybe a horizontal tango will loosen the two of you up?”

“No, you know what will loosen me up? Punching you in the face. Don’t make me get out the holy oil again.” Dean threatened.

Castiel rolled his eyes at the pair of them.

Jack’s eyes grew wide as he looked over at the small town square. There was an old mechanics’ garage, Gypsy’s. Down the way on the right was a grocery store called Doose’s Market with batches of local produce in the front of the building. Across the road was what was clearly a locally owned diner. His eyes followed a pair of fast talking brunettes as they took sips of coffee between sentences instead of breaths. Their conversation seemed to amount to nothing but their men troubles.

In the center of the town square was a park area, complete with gazebo. On one of the benches sat someone wearing a beekeeping suit, mask pushed up as he ate a sandwich. There was a sign next to the large white gazebo told them in what town they were.

_Welcome to Star’s Hollow._

“This place even going to take our money?” Dean asked. He didn’t want anything stopping him from getting his pie fix. Or his burger fix. But mainly his pie fix. The smells coming from the diner were making his mouth water.

“Oh.” Jack looked so dejected. He really wanted some nougat.

Gabriel considered for a moment. Snapping his fingers two credit cards appeared in his hand. Handing one over to Dean, he said. “Here. These will work in any universe that has credit cards. Unlimited limit. Go crazy.”

Dean just stared open-mouthed at the black card he was now holding. “Seriously? You just now think to help us with this? This could have been helpful, you know, like _any time_ before this.”

“Keep the attitude up and I can take it away again.” Gabriel smirked. He would still give one to Sam though, kid was far too responsible. No doubt the gentle giant would insist on using it to take care of Jack. Gabriel would just take it away from Dean-o if he got too mouthy.

“Enough Dean.” Castiel yanked at the hunter to stop. They needed to get food and get home. His brother and hunter fighting with each other wasn’t helping anything. “That won’t be necessary. Thank you, Gabriel, for your generous gift.”

Grabbing Dean by the arm, Castiel dragged him across the street to the diner. The angelic pair watched them, Gabriel rolling his eyes as Dean clearly started pouting. Glancing at his nephew, Gabriel asked. “So, time for candy?”

Jack’s smile could have lit the entire bunker in that moment.


	5. Oi with the poodles already!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is primarily a Supernatural story, and I'm not really familiar with the Gilmore Girls show. Only watched some of it once cus it's the bestie's fav.   
> Should only be one more chapter in this universe before moving on to my fav! (outside of SPN of course!)  
> Comments and kudos  
> Gabi  
> <3<3<3

The market was smaller than they had been anticipating, but it was well stocked with more than enough candy. Well, enough for a normal _human_ when they were only getting a couple of bars. For a sweet-toothed archangel and his nougat loving nephilim nephew (try saying _that_ five times fast) it would barely put a dent in their cravings.

To be honest, Gabriel didn’t really need the candy. It actually burnt through his grace more when he ate it because he had to manipulate the molecules to even taste the sugary goodness. Jack on the other hand had it lucky. Being part human gave him taste buds, and the nougat somehow worked _with_ his biology.

Several people in the store looked at the strange, angelic pair oddly. Clearly this was a small town and not known for random outsiders. Gabriel knew that it would be best for everyone if they kept down a low profile while in this town.

“Okay, kid. So why don’t you hit up the candy aisle and grab as much as you can carry. I’ll see if I can find anything interesting in the other aisles.”

“ _Can_ I help you?”

An uptight bearded man came over to Gabriel, suspicion in his eyes. He wore an apron with the store emblem on the green fabric, and a name tag with the same _Doose_ on it. Obviously, he was the owner.

“Not really.” Gabriel crossed his arms, smirking slightly at how defensive the man immediately became. Before he could voice his irritation, Gabriel decided to, for once, not be a complete jerk. Not his universe, right? “Me and the nephew there are just stocking up for a road trip. No biggie.”

“Just you and your nephew, eh? Planning on going anywhere special?” The glint in the owners’ eye gave away just how curious he was for some outsider’s gossip.

“Well, it’s also his other uncle too. On his Dad’s side.” Gabriel paused a beat before adding something that was sure to raise the man’s blood pressure. “Though, to be fair I’m also the uncle on his Dad’s side. Just, you know, his _other_ Dad.”

Gabriel was certain that if the man had more hair on his head, his eyebrows would have completely disappeared with how quickly they raised. Before Gabriel was able to continue picking on the little mortal, they were interrupted.

“Taylor, leave him alone. Not everyone who comes in here has to give you their life story.”

Gabriel’s eyes widened at the voice behind him.

Taylor Doose clutched at his chest, shocked by the accusation. Huffing out a weak apology, he walked away leaving Gabriel alone with the Not Possible.

For all of a minute.

“Hey Gabriel. You told me to grab as much as I could carry, but I think this will do for now.” Jack’s arms were weighed down, or would be if he could feel the weight, with boxes and boxes of various chocolate bars, in one hand. In the other he had an already opened Snickers halfway to his mouth. Jack turned noticing the man standing next to his uncle. “Sam? I thought you were staying by the rift?”

The archangel facepalmed. Snapping his fingers, he transported Jack, their candy, Not-Sam and himself back to the rift clearing.

Not-Sam shouted. “What the _heck_!”

Before he could freak out further, Gabriel tapped him on the forehead. Not-Sam collapsed hard on the ground, right at the feet of Real Sam. Real Sam who was shooting the archangel a bitchface to end all bitchfaces.

“Really, Gabe?”

“What? Double my pleasure, double the fun?” Gabriel shrugs bashfully, looking between the two Moose-men.

Sam just looks to the sky, shaking his head.

Jack, still holding onto the candy, just watched in a mixed state of curiosity and confusion.

***8***8***

Meanwhile completely oblivious to the havoc that the others had just caused, Dean and Castiel walked into the diner. A man stood behind the counter on the phone, exasperated at what was being said on the line. He threw up a finger, asking them to wait a minute.

“Alright Cas. What should we get everyone?” Dean stared up at the board above the counter while he waited to order. Not like they were in any rush. Sure they all wanted to get back home, but it was probably a good idea for them to rest up while they could.

Despite his ‘just a grunt’ mentality, he wasn’t a complete moron. He had seen how pale Jack was when they came through the rift this last time. Even if the hunters didn’t really need the rest before attempting another rift jump, their surrogate son did. Even Gabriel wasn’t strong enough to open a rift on his own, though he might be willing to help Jack with an extra boost of power.

Castiel squinted up at the options. “I’m not sure Dean. Perhaps a salad or something similar for Sam? I’m going to assume you’ll have one of the burgers?”

“Aw Cas. You know me so well.” Dean looped his arm around his friend’s neck, pulling him closer. If he happened to sniff at Cas’ collar, that was nobody’s business but his own.

“Oh, well aren’t you two just delicious?”

Dean’s eyes widened at the compliment coming from an older woman suddenly appearing by his side. The shorter woman eyed him hungrily. Dean took a step back, feeling like he was about to be served up for a meal for her. Cas’ hands came up to his shoulders, stopping him from tripping over.

“Are you okay, Dean?” he asked.

The woman leaned into Dean’s space, pretending to whisper but easily heard by the entire diner. “Oh the things I could do if you weren’t taken. Don’t look so scared, sweetheart. I don’t poach.”

“Alright Patty. Leave ‘em alone. Here’s your food.” The man behind the counter set a to-go bag on the counter. Adjusting his backwards cap, he turned to the other men. “Welcome to Luke’s Diner, gentlemen. I’m Luke and you must be the ‘dad’s’ that Taylor called me about.”

Dean stuttered silently, blinking a full minute before squeaking out, “I’m sorry. _What?_ ”

“Don’t worry about it too much. Curse of a small town. No one new can step foot in here without being attacked by the Lilliputians.”

Cas tilted his head. “Your town is overrun by Lilliputians?”

Luke chuckled. “Nope. By busybodies. Now, what can I get ya?”

Castiel ordered for them. Dean was still too confused about the ‘dads’ comment from Luke, and Patty's indication that he and Cas were somehow together. While they waited Castiel conversed with a strange man wearing a beekeeping outfit. His name may have been Kirk, but all Dean could see was Kraglin from _Guardians of the Galaxy_.

Ugh. His head hurt.

Just as the pair were grabbing their own to-go bags, Gabriel grabbed them by the shoulders.

“Dude! You almost made me drop the pie!” Dean huffed out, shaking the miniscule archangel off his shoulder.

“Dude! I don’t care!” Gabriel mocked. “We got a problem.”

“Yeah, you.” Dean snapped.

“No. With your son. Now let’s go.” Gabriel turned and stomped out of the diner. He knew that his baby brother would at least drag the older Winchester with him as they went back to the clearing. He called out, not wanting to waste time. “Hurry up!”


End file.
